Chrissy Teigen is ready to share her experience following the loss of her third child, son Jack. The model and entrepreneur shared a poignant personal essay on Medium, detailing what she went through in the hospital, saying goodbye to her third son Jack. She also gave her thanks to everyone who has written notes to her, showed kindness to her family, or shared their stories with her.
“I didn’t really know how I would start this, no matter the room or state I was in, but it feels right to begin with a thank you,” she began. “For weeks, our floors have been covered in flowers of kindness. Notes have flooded in and have each been read with our own teary eyes. Social media messages from strangers have consumed my days, most starting with, ‘you probably won’t read this, but…’. I can assure you, I did.”
“But I will tell you, some of the best letters started with, ‘You don’t have to respond to this, but…’. After we first lost Jack, I found myself incredibly worried that I wasn’t able to thank everyone for their extreme kindness,” she added. “Many shared incredible personal experiences, some shared books and poems. I wanted to thank everyone, share our story with each individual person. But I knew I was in no state to. For me, the ‘no need to respond’ note was such a true relief. I thank you for each and every one of those.”
Teigen wrote about what happened to her in the hospital, then explained how she feels now in her time processing it. (Her account of delivering Jack is best read in full in the essay itself, here.)
People say an experience like this creates a hole in your heart,” she wrote. “A hole was certainly made, but it was filled with the love of something I loved so much. It doesn’t feel empty, this space. It feels full.
Maybe *too* bursting full, actually. I find myself randomly crying, thinking about how happy I am to have two insanely wonderful little toddlers who fill this house with love. I smother them with love while they “Moooooooom!!!!!” me. I don’t care.
Teigen ended her essay by thanking people again for their support. “I wrote this because I knew for me I needed to say something before I could move on from this and return back to life, so I truly thank you for allowing me to do so. Jack will always be loved, explained to our kids as existing in the wind and trees and the butterflies they see. Thank you so much to every single person who has had us in their thoughts or gone as far as to send us your love and stories. We are so incredibly lucky,” she finished.
You can read her entire essay here.
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