Category: Life & Love

With the COVID-19 pandemic, it’s easy to feel like everything has screeched to a halt. We can’t gather with our friends or make dinner reservations, schedule trips or even safely walk down a crowded street.

But not everybody has been putting their plans on hold while waiting for daily life to return to “normal.” Instead, these five couples took matters into their own hands, confidently moving forward to the next stage of their relationship: Proposals.

Here, each couple shares their own story of how they got engaged during quarantine.

Ali Knapp, 27 & Billy Clemons, 27

Billy:

“I’m in business school, and in May, all of us were supposed to go to different international locations to work for about a month. I was going to go to Santiago, Chile, and at the end, Ali was going to meet me there. We were going to go to Peru and do the Inca Trail to Machu Picchu. I had picked out a spot at the top of the trail where I wanted to propose. Then, obviously with COVID-19, that wasn’t happening anymore.

Instead, I tried to recreate it in our house. I set up a tent in the living room and cast onto the TV the spot where I wanted to propose. I put those little glow-in-the-dark stars on the ceiling, got Chilean wine and Peruvian food and had lantern lights in the kitchen. When she walked into the living room, I proposed. Afterwards her family, who live down the street, came over to celebrate with us. In normal circumstances we would’ve probably done something with more people; her grandparents are nearby, and we would have wanted to go show them.

It was a little bright side in what would have otherwise been cloudy times. It was nice to have good news to share, especially when there hasn’t been that much in a while.”

Ali:

“I thought a proposal might be coming in the summer or early fall, but I had no idea what he was planning. I was so surprised, and it’s really those little details that got me. We were supposed to a wine tour in Chile, so the Chilean wine was an extra touch. He had my granddad’s wine glasses with it, and then we were supposed to do a cooking class in Peru so he had the Peruvian food. I don’t know how he found it with everything being closed around us, but he did.”

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Nicole Pomponio, 26 & Bob Kane, 28

Bob:

“Nicole’s been talking about getting engaged since we met in 2016, and I first started looking at rings in late January. I had this plan where I was going to put “Marry me?” spelled out in balloons outside, and I would be dressed up with our dog in a dress. But then the world shutdown. I had the ring hidden in my closet, and I thought, ‘There’s got to be a good time.’ I was trying to come up with a plan B.

Then, I got told by my job that I was going to get furloughed. We were both really upset, and we were talking about, ‘Where can I apply to jobs? When can I apply for unemployment?’ and Nicole starts asking me how much money I have saved up.

In my mind, I knew I couldn’t tell her I just spent basically all the money I had saved up on a ring. I just said, ‘I don’t have any money because I just spent it on a huge purchase.’ She took that as, ‘You just bought a used video game system from GameStop.’ And she starts crying with her head in her hands. So I get up from the kitchen table and said to myself, ‘I’m just going to do it now.’ It seems like a cop out that I wanted her to stop crying, but I needed her to understand that we would be fine because we had each other. I really wanted to balance the negative of finding out I was getting furloughed with, ‘I want to spend the rest of my life with you.’

When she lifted her head from her hands, I was on one knee and she’s screaming, ‘No, no, no. This wasn’t supposed to happen like this. No, no, no.’ And I said, ‘Will you marry me?’ And she just kept saying no. I was like, ‘Do you mean yes?’ and then she said yes.

We have a really good support system. Nicole’s okay, and I’m able to file for unemployment and get a part-time job. I didn’t want us to think about the quarantine as that time that I lost my job for a brief time. I wanted to think about when we were stuck in the house, and we got engaged.”

Nicole:

“The funniest part from my side was that when I heard him get up, I thought he was going to the room to get the video game and go return it. Then he came back with a ring. I opened my eyes, and I was expecting the video game to be in his hands. That’s why I said no. I was really surprised. I had no idea that he had been hiding that for a couple months.

I got a lot of messages from people saying, ‘This was amazing to see in this time.’ I got emails from people from my work saying, ‘You really made my whole week.’ I think it was that real glimmer of hope that life will move on at some point. We won’t be stuck in this forever. When you get engaged. you know that there’s planning involved afterwards. People see that as, ‘Okay, this is a new beginning. It’s not the end.’ There are new beginnings that are coming out of this. too.”

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Brea Baker, 25 & Mariah Harris, 26

Mariah:

“I had planned a proposal that was completely different from the one that actually happened but because of the coronavirus, I had to improvise. I had made reservations at a restaurant that has a private chef table. Friends and family had booked their flights. The ring was being made and was going to get to me by April 1st. Then everyone’s flights were getting canceled. The restaurant ended up closing its doors. I thought, ‘I’m not going to let this prevent me from making this moment happen.’

One night, I took her on a walk and said, ‘I have a confession to make. The walk that we went on had a purpose. Tonight is a full moon.’ I said, ‘A few years ago, you told me that if you give someone a moonstone on the night of a full moon, it’s a symbol of eternal love, and I love you very much. I have known I’ve wanted to marry you for nearly four years now. So I want to ask you a question.’ By this point, she was bawling. I get on my knee and ask her, ‘Will you marry me?’

For me, I thought just because it’s not what I planned doesn’t mean that it’s not a good proposal. I can modify my plans, and it’ll be just as good, if not better. That’s what ended up happening. I loved it so much more. It happened exactly how it needed to happen.

I was also selfishly really excited to be engaged to her. I knew that even though it wasn’t under ideal circumstances, this would all just be part of our story. Just because the story that’s being told is different doesn’t mean it’s not just as impactful or as meaningful.”

Brea:

“We knew we wanted to get married sometime in the next one to two years. We both wanted a proposal and we both wanted a ring. I was so caught up in planning my own proposal, I was not looking out for signs that she was planning something and beating me to it.

On the day of the proposal, she started getting dressed up and showered. I’m like, ‘Why are you getting all nice for the living room?’ And she said, ‘I felt like sprucing myself up. I haven’t been feeling my best lately.’ So I got dressed up, too.

After the proposal, she said, ‘If everything had gone as planned, your family would’ve been here, and we would been celebrating with them. But since we’re all quarantining, everybody’s going to be on a Zoom call.’ It was really nice to immediately celebrate with them. She had a queue of Zoom calls scheduled.”

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Julie Becker, 24 & Sam Spector, 24

Sam:

“Julie’s a teacher, and we were planning on coming down to Florida for her spring break in April. But with everything that happened, I convinced her to fly down a little bit early to her parents’ house in Jupiter, Florida.

I flew with the ring knowing that I was planning on getting engaged. My dad passed away at the end of January, and I got to go with him and pick out a ring. She had no idea I bought it. Our families were both supposed to be at the proposal, but with the pandemic, I didn’t know the next time we would all be able to be together. I thought, ‘Why hold onto it for another six to eight weeks not knowing what the future holds? Why not take this time where we’re stuck in the house and make it a happy moment?’

Julie and I actually both got COVID-19 around the same time while we were in Florida. We both had extreme fatigue, a super dry cough, the normal symptoms. Day six and seven got much worse for me, whereas Julie got a little bit better. I started to have some shortness of breath and had trouble breathing for probably two weeks. I went to the hospital one night to get some oxygen.

On April 4th, when I actually proposed, we had already started to feel better. I thought, ‘Well, we got through that. Why not just do it now?’

With her parents, we came up with a plan. We told her we were going to go take family photos on the beach. We get there, and there’s caution tape and barricades up. We ended up climbing over some of the tape and went around the barricades. I knew we had to be quick with it. So I said what I said and proposed right there on the beach.”

Julie:

“I was expecting an engagement, but we had a trip planned in July so in the back of my head, I thought that’s when he was going to propose. But when he said, ‘Let’s just go to the beach,’ I thought maybe it was happening.

When he first got down on one knee, the first words out of my mouth were, ‘Oh no.’ It wasn’t because I was upset, but I was surprised and shocked. I was like, ‘Wait, what’s happening?’ But I’m so excited. I was a little upset that my whole family wasn’t there, but obviously I totally understand that we were unsure of the next time we’ll be able to see them. So I’m happy that he decided to go through with it.

People have expressed how this has brought so much happiness during this crazy time—it’s a bit of hope for people looking out to the future.”

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Erika Saucedo, 27 & Justin Sisson, 26

Justin:

“I had this planned out pretty far ahead. Her two sisters and her mom were planning to come in for the engagement on March 19th. Then everything got tossed out the window. The restaurant closed, the location where I was going to propose closed.

But her sisters were saying, ‘Hey, you can still do it. We’ll do a FaceTime.’ My brother that lives with me was going to have both of our families on FaceTime. Two of my cousins who live pretty locally agreed to take pictures and catch the moment on video. So that day, I told Erika, ‘Hey, let’s go for a walk at this park.’

When we got to the location, I was sweating bullets, and I could see my cousin hiding behind the tree. We started walking, and then I started getting into how I planned that day to be a special day and how I still wanted it to be a special day. She actually stopped me and said, ‘Did you talk to my family?’ I knew that was the biggest thing. I said, ‘Yeah, actually I did, and they’re watching right now.’ My brother popped out, and he’s got both our families on FaceTime, and then I dropped down on one knee and asked her. She said it was the easiest yes that she’s ever made.

It did cross my mind to just wait, especially when I got the message from her sisters that they were canceling their trip. But then they were so encouraging and trying to help me figure out how to still do it. I knew I wanted to marry her and I wanted to propose, so there was no doubt with that. It was just wanting to make sure it was still special for her. I have no regrets.”

Erika:

“I had an idea that he was going to propose the week that it happened. I’m in optometry school, and I had told him, ‘I just want to make sure I’ve already taken my board exam when you propose.’

The week that he proposed, I was supposed take my exam that Monday and I figured he was going to do it within the next few days. But then my board exam got canceled because of the coronavirus, and everything was closing down. I thought, ‘There’s no way he’s going to propose.’ I wanted my family to be at the proposal, but nobody was flying.

On the actual day, he asked me to go the park, but he was wearing khakis and a formal shirt. I was getting ready to wear workout clothes. That’s what I knew something was going on. He was like, ‘Don’t you want to dress up a little?’ And I was like, ‘Why? We’re going to the park.’

But in the middle of all the chaos, it was still very special and very meaningful. After being engaged, we got to enjoy being together in quarantine. I think it solidified to both of us how we can see each other working through tough situations together.”

My daughter is four years old and has questions. She always has questions. That’s the nature of being four. But now, she has more. We’ve had the same conversation after breakfast nearly every day for the past two weeks of self-quarantine. It happens after my wife goes to work in our home office, which was once my office, but now, because my wife can’t go to work, it’s hers.

“When can we play with our friends again?” my daughter says. She knows the answer by now but asks anyway.

“I don’t know. When this is all over,” I tell her. I don’t have an answer because there isn’t an answer. “We have to make sure no one is sick so we don’t get sick or get anyone else sick.”

“But what if we’re careful?” she says.

She’s been stuck with me for four years. I’m a stay-at-home dad to her and her little brother. I’m good at it at times, and sometimes I succumb to its stresses. It’s not easy in the best of times. But now? Now she’s getting extra tired of me. Usually we spend a few days a week with friends at the library or the playground. Sometimes we go to reading group. Other times we go to play group at the Head Start building. My wife urges me, rightfully, to get out of the house with the kids. I begrudgingly go. I’m the only dad there most of the time. At home, I’m in charge even when I’m overwhelmed. When we leave, I have to be more focused; I’m no longer in control. During these times of COVID-19 and self-isolation, my daughter wants to go outside more than ever. She needs and deserves to leave. She wants to see her friends, who are the children of my wife’s and my friends. If she wants to play games at home, her nearly two year-old brother ruins them in an instant with one swipe of his hand, crashing Shoots and Ladders to the ground. I want to get out too, but I can’t let her know that.

Self-isolation is hard for a four year old. It’s impossible to grasp the severity of the situation and it’s even harder for a parent to explain it. She has a personality and independence and wants to revel in that. She can understand what is happening, but she doesn’t have the experience or vocabulary to comprehend. My son is in his own world. He’s fine with cars and chasing the chickens in our backyard, but he also needs space and socialization. We’re all tired of each other. We want to see someone new. We want to see the world.

“What kind of sick is it?” she asks. She wants to know if coronavirus is like the stomach bug she and her brother have got the last two winters. This year, my wife was at the casino with her friends in Boston celebrating. Her friend was nearly done with his undergrad that he put off until his late 30s. I told her to go out. It was important. It was January and cold. I put a movie on for the kids so I could close my eyes for a few minutes while my kids sat silent. I needed a rest before bedtime. I don’t sleep well when my wife is away, so I needed that moment. She goes to bed first, usually, so it feels strange to go to bed when she’s not home. My son stood up and puked a mix of dairy products all over the ottoman. He threw up in three pairs of pajamas. He took four baths. He vomited in my sweatshirt. Nothing stayed down. He was sick for five days. My wife got sick when she got home from the casino. Three days later as my wife took our son to the doctor, my daughter puked all over her mid-morning snack. The year before, my wife went to Vegas with a friend in February and the kids got sick. It snowed there. My son vomited all over me and the kitchen floor. My daughter slipped in it and her blue eyes cried. My mother came to help. My daughter threw up in her bed and on her floor and slept with me. I fought it both times. I had stomach pains for weeks. My body knows if I get sick all hell will break loose. But this sick isn’t that.

That’s the sick my daughter thought was ravaging the world. She’s smart, but there’s no way to tell her this is something different. People are dying. Lots of them. Too many to seem real. It feels like a dream. It feels hopeless. I only sleep after hours of reading or video games. I need to escape. I can barely write or concentrate. My eyes are glassy at all times. The world is sepia toned and I’m stuck trying to keep everyone alive. My mother got on a plane two weeks ago. My father-in-law kept getting his lottery ticket until then, too. No one seems to understand. How can I make a four year old understand?

My wife has more work than ever. She left her job as an eighth grade math teacher last summer to work for a nonprofit that created an online teaching tool. She’s lucky. Now, as schools close and stay closed and more and more teachers sign up to use the program she has more work. They’ve doubled the number of users in the last few weeks. She’s become an essential employee, teaching teachers how to use the tool, leading webinars and discussions. She’s answering emails at all hours. She’s on her phone, working. She needs to work. Kids need to learn. She sets a schedule for us most days because I’m not good at that. But I can follow them at least. I can’t create something from nothing like that. My wife thinks accents are funny and asks me to do them. She asked me last night and on command I blanked. Same with jokes. Can’t tell jokes. Can’t remember names of songs or words. But ask me what shoes my wife wore the day we met 12 years ago and I could tell you that (Saucony’s).

On her off days we walk. The other day she took our daughter to pick up trash in our neighborhood. We live near an animal sanctuary in New England’s second largest city and people dump their trash along its borders.

Our neighbors across the street love our kids like their own grandchildren. They buy them gifts and give them hugs and kisses. Both of them are old and sick. When we moved in ten years ago, only she was sick. He worked at his barber shop or in his garden. He used to cut my hair. I went during his special hours on Sunday mornings when the blinds were drawn and his regulars called for appointments. Fewer started showing up. Time collected them, including me: I cut my own hair now. He can’t cut hair anymore, anyway. His eyesight is gone. He’s in his mid-80s. He used to watch his wife walk past the barbershop before they were married. Their oldest daughter runs the shop now. She cuts my daughter’s bangs for free. My daughter loves going and sitting in the now unused chair and waiting her turn. She looks at the pictures he taped to the mirror. He still gets dressed in a shirt and tie everyday. He used to work for the local Democratic Party, getting people from the neighborhood elected. Now he watches Fox News. My wife took my daughter over to their house the other day to draw pictures in their walkway with chalk. We told our daughter no hugs and kisses. Stay away.

“Why?” she said

“We don’t want to get them sick,” I said.

When they came out to say hi my wife reminds our daughter, “no hugs and kisses.” Our neighbor doesn’t understand. He thinks this isn’t a big deal. “The President is doing a great job,” he tells my wife. “I can’t imagine anyone else taking care of this.” He’s been going out nearly every day. He gets picked up by friends, also old and in danger, to go to the grocery store. It’s scary to think of life without them across the street. And it’s tough to explain to a four year old that we can’t show love to someone she loves. She named a doll after him. She asks about his wife all the time. When she was little she’d stand in the front door or in my bedroom and talk to them for hours. She’d wait for them to come outside and sit in the sun like they did, under the wind chimes of their front patio. She loves picking their raspberries and blackberries to share. They’re too old to pick them these days. She wants to bring them eggs from our chickens. We keep our son away because he doesn’t comprehend at all. He would run over and hug and kiss them and rub boogers on their clothes and furniture. He’s a lovable monster and that’s dangerous.

Every morning the same routine. She asks if we can go to the playground. She asks if we can see our friends. She’s tired of being cooped up. I don’t blame her. I’m tired. Exhausted. We all are. She’s heard the word “die” more times in the past month than in her entire life. She kind of knows what it means. One of our cats died on the kitchen floor, heart attack, when she was barely a year old. She saw him and tried to pet him. “Kitty,” she said as my wife cried and tried to save Jim, the cat. Her favorite chicken, named after Princess Sophia, was eaten by a fox. I had to pick up the remains of the other two he killed. She knows death, but it’s hard to explain to a four-year-old that death comes from a virus.

“How come there’s no medicine?” she asks.

“This is new,” I say. “It takes time.”

We FaceTime, call friends and family. She spends an hour talking to her friend. They show each other toys. My wife sits with our son while I nap. I had a headache. I go to bed early and wake up more tired than I’ve ever been. I fall asleep on top of the blankets, fully clothed, my arms crossed across my chest and my pit bull curled up behind my knees to keep me warm. She knows when I need her.

My wife keeps the kids busy. She’s makes crafts for our daughter. Our son won’t sit still for that. He still tries to eat markers and crayons and I can only imagine what he’d do with scissors or glue. We’ve find famous people reading stories on Youtube because I’m not in the mood to read stories. She and her brother watch them while I shower and my wife works. It’s supposed to keep them occupied. The baby gates are supposed to keep them in. It hasn’t worked yet. I take long showers. It’s the most quiet place in the world. It’s the best place to think. I need the warm water to open up my chest and sinuses.

This morning, before showers and stories but right after breakfast, she asks me again when this will be over.

“I don’t know,” I say.

‘Why?”

I don’t have an answer. There is no answer. “We just need to wait until everyone is safe. If everyone stays safe, maybe soon we can see people.”

“When’s your birthday?” she asks.

It’s soon, which she knows. She loves birthdays. She gets two birthday parties because our family can’t all fit in our house at once in the winter. It’s a small house and a small kitchen. Two dinner celebrations. She loves to see her family. She loves to eat cake. I hate my birthday. I have for a long time. My wife throws great birthday parties. When I turned 30 she surprised me with a family dinner at a restaurant. Both our families were there. Then she told me to go out to my favorite bar with my brothers. When we arrived, she was there with all of my friends and family. I think of that night and cry sometimes. It was beautiful. My favorite birthday ever. No presents. No pressure. Friends and family. That bar closed last year.

“Who will come to your birthday?” my daughter wants to know.

“No one,” I say. “And that’s okay.”