Categories
Beauty

Jessica Alba on Skincare, TikTok, and Running Honest Beauty From Home

If you’ve ever wondered how Jessica Alba gets her dewy glow, the actress and Honest Company founder is down to spill some Hollywood beauty secrets.

The answer? Honest Beauty’s new Calm and Healing Melting Balm, a hydrating moisturizer directly inspired by a celeb-favorite face cream. “There’s this face cream, the fanciest I’ve ever used, that’s popular in Hollywood, but it’s so expensive,” Alba tells ELLE.com. “Anytime I got the opportunity to use the cream, I loved the immediate effects of it, but then I would break out because it would clog my pores.”

Honest Beauty worked on its version of the face cream for years before launching the fragrance-free, vegan, and dermatologist-approved melting balm.”I asked my chemist in-house, ‘Can we make something that has similar skincare benefits and texture, but without the 2,500 ingredients that we’re not using in our products?'”

Ahead, Alba shares more beauty secrets, plus her advice for working moms and the trick to viral TikTok videos.

honest beauty

Honest Beauty

Sensitive skin? Check the ingredients.

I thought I had chronic cystic acne when I was in my twenties, but what I realized is I’m just allergic to a lot of petroleum-based ingredients, and I’m also allergic to synthetic fragrances. I can’t use anything that has petro as a critical ingredient. It just gives me a rash.

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Prioritize self-care.

Self-care has been much more of a priority and trying to figure out how to incorporate self-care into my day-to-day and weekly routine versus it being a random, special occasion. I do a face mask every morning, and it just wakes my skin up and forces me to do my multi-step skincare routine. Even though it’s only four steps, it allows me to stop, breathe, and take time for myself, to not have to be a mom or the boss or a wife or friend.

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Set a routine.

I put on my face mask, and then I’ll get my coffee, brush my teeth, get the kids up, make breakfast. And then I do try to do some movement, whether it’s yoga or spinning. We converted our garage to a gym, and there’s a bunch of workout apps. I have these Ariana Ost crystals in different places. And again, it’s a reminder that I need to breathe and do a little meditation.

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Check in with others.

The Honest team is incredible because when we went into lockdown in March, we had already put together a process for everyone to go virtual. As a business owner, the thing that has made the most impact is taking care of our employees’ mental health and being there for them. We have a lot of resources for folks. To give them that support and helping them through this difficult time. Then it allows everyone to show up and be happy and be productive.

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Be kind to yourself.

My kids are running in the middle of meetings and asking me to help them work or argue about something. There is no separation of work life, home life anymore. Just be kind to yourself and know that nobody’s figured it out. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. I’m such a perfectionist, and I just had to let go of that. Some days I’m just not going to be able to be Zoom ready, you know?

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When it comes to TikTok, your kids know best.

I ask my kids, “Am I allowed to post this?” And they edit a lot. They don’t let me post probably 80% of the time. They’re like, no, mom, you didn’t do that trend right. Or you’re too late, or that’s super cringy, or you have to do it like this. My kids are the gates on whether I should post something or not. [The ‘Savage’ challenge] was probably the one that got the most attention, and that was super, super flattering for sure.

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Categories
Women's Fashion

Pieter Mulier Is Alaïa’s New Creative Director

Following French-Tunisian designer Azzedine Alaïa’s death in 2017, the Alaïa ship has sailed on as best as it could to keep the legendary name alive. Now, Pieter Mulier is signing on as captain.

Announced today, February 5, Alaïa has officially named Mulier as its newest designer. Mulier cut his teeth as an intern for Raf Simons before transitioning to Simons’ right-hand man working alongside him at Jil Sander, Christian Dior, and Calvin Klein where he developed a knack for sleek, feminine silhouettes.

“Pieter’s appointment marks the opening of an important new chapter for our Maison as we jointly seek to carry the foundational values and distinctive style of Alaïa into the future,” Myriam Serrano, chief executive officer, says in a statement. “Pieter stands out for his remarkable technical talent and devotion to the craft, his sharp eye for construction, and a sense of timeless beauty that is deeply ingrained in the creative approach of our Maison.”

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Mulier will begin his tenure at Alaïa immediately with plans to present his debut Maison Alaïa collection for the spring-summer 2022 season.

“It is an absolute dream to join this prestigious Maison, its beautiful ateliers, and its talented team,” Pieter adds. “Azzedine Alaïa’s powerful vision has served as an inspiration, as he always sought to give the necessary time to innovative and enduring creation. It is with a tremendous sense of admiration and responsibility that I will seek to carry forward his legacy of celebrating femininity and to jointly shape the future of this legendary Maison.”

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Categories
Women's Fashion

ALT and DVF Talk Studio 54 with the AGO + More Canadian Fashion News To Know

Photography courtesy of the Art Gallery of Ontario.

New styles of trousers made for wheelchair users, an upcoming talk between two fashion icons from the Art Gallery of Ontario + more.

The upcoming AGO Talks event features André Leon Talley and Diane von Furstenberg

ago studio 54
Photography courtesy of the Art Gallery of Ontario.

As part of the programming for its Studio 54: Night Magic exhibit, the Art Gallery of Ontario will host fashion industry legends — and avid Studio 54-goers — André Leon Talley and Diane von Furstenberg for a virtual conversation on Tuesday, February 9 at 7pm EST. The hour-long free event will offer an intimate look at the iconic editor and designer’s insights into the unrivalled style moments of the ’70s; dressing up for the occasion is obviously encouraged.

IZ Adaptive launches several styles of its Game Changer pant

iz adaptive canadian fashion news
Photography courtesy of Iz Adaptive.

With the allure of a great pair of jeans as its inspiration, the Game Changer Collection is the latest innovation from IZ Adaptive, the accessibility-centric brand launched by Toronto-based designer Izzy Camilleri over a decade ago. “It’s the most important work I’ve ever done,” Camilleri says of the designs, which feature a seamless, pocket-free back to prevent the onset of pressure sores that wheelchair users can develop from sitting on such detailing all day. Denim versions come in blue and black styles, and there are chinos and sweatpants to choose from, too. And, there are versions for kids in the works as well.

Hayley Elsaesser introduces new accessories made with recycled plastic

hayley elsaesser canadian fashion news
Photography courtesy of Hayley Elsaesser.

Incorporating some of the most beloved prints from her eponymous brand, Hayley Elsaesser dropped a selection of charming earrings and necklaces fabricated from 100 per cent recycled plastic. The nostalgia-tinged pieces are hand-assembled in Elasesser’s Hamilton, Ont. studio, with the necklaces available in two lengths to suit your personal preference.

Révolutionnaire has collaborated Roots with on a new t-shirt

revolutionnaire roots canadian fashion news
Photography courtesy of Roots.

Founded with the purpose of “democratizing dance” and “revolutionizing nude apparel,” and now incorporating a wider scope of social empowerment initiatives, Révolutionnaire — a platform managed by sisters Nia Faith and Justice Faith — has partnered with Roots on the creation of a t-shirt to celebrate Black History Month. A donation from the sales of the shirts will go to The Black Academy, a Toronto-based division of the arts-focused not-for-profit B.L.A.C.K. (Building A Legacy in Acting, Cinema and Knowledge) Canada.

There’s a limited edition ring out from MDG Jewellery x Neophyte

mdg jewellery neophyte canadian fashion news
Photography courtesy of MDG Jewellery.

Love is in the air, and Toronto-based MDG Jewellery has teamed up with the boutique Neophyte to offer a heart-shaped ring for the month of February. Set with a striking black onyx and customizable with your choice of birthstone, the made-to-order talisman is only on offer until February 28 so make your move accordingly.

Categories
Life & Love

I’m Buying My Husband a Bulletproof Vest for Valentine’s Day

In the eight years since our first date, I’ve always bought my husband flowers and chocolate for Valentine’s Day. (Matt displays the flowers and I eat the chocolate.) But if the seditious attack on the nation’s Capitol taught me anything, it’s that I need to up my game in the Valentine gift-giving department. This year, he’s getting a bullet-proof vest.

Now that Donald Trump—who used his power, privilege, and social media following to encourage the storming of the Capitol building—is (mercifully) out of office, it may seem like the threat of insurrection is a thing of the past. But these crazed QAnon elements are not going anywhere anytime soon. Some of the cult’s most vile adherents, like freshman congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene, have somehow found an elected seat from which to spew their dangerous rhetoric. It’s clear that, as Trump licks his wounds at Mar-a-Lago, we still face a reality where people radicalized by the far-right-wing internet feel empowered to take to our streets and openly threaten violence against elected officials.

Even still, my husband thinks investing in expensive combat gear is ridiculous. But I see such precautionary measures as an act of love—and a life insurance policy.

If the seditious attack on the nation’s Capitol taught me anything, it’s that I need to up my game in the Valentine gift-giving department. This year, he’s getting a bullet-proof vest.

Matt and I are newlyweds; it took me 39 years and countless lapses in judgement before I found the love of my life. He works as a legal administrator in a government building in Michigan’s Capitol. Credible threats of domestic terrorism leave me terrified that our swing state’s increasingly virulent QAnon population could one day make me a widow. So I’ve found myself scouring tactical gear websites and Amazon reviews for the kinds of goods that could possibly save his life someday—pieces that can be concealed under his suit or discreetly stored in his office.

The choices feel endless. Some vests are designed to stop bullets while others are only able to protect against knives. Who knew? There’s also the option of “stab” and “spike” protection. Apparently, sharp edges and spikes are totally different things in the world of protective gear. And then there’s the issue of hard material versus soft—this selection depends on external conditions like the weather, and also personal preferences for comfort. And finally, there’s the question of multi-threat armor, forcing me to guess the myriad ways that armed, horn-and-fur-wearing radicals could threaten Matt and his colleagues when it’s time to return to the office.

Gas masks, pepper spray, goggles, and other accessories necessary to defending oneself against insurrection present even more dizzying options. It’s easy to spend an hour or more sorting through bullet-proof vests alone; I have my work cut out for me if I’m going to make an informed purchase in time for Valentine’s Day.

shoppers prepare for valentines day

My husband and I have always exchanged flowers and chocolate for Valentine’s Day. But this year, I’m trying to keep him safe.

Stephen CherninGetty Images

We are not survivalists, and I like to think that I’m not paranoid as a rule. The closest thing Matt and I have to self-defense is a dull set of steak knives. I can’t stomach the idea of owning a gun, and I don’t know anyone who could field my questions about riot and tactical gear. But I now find myself in a new world, wondering how Matt should be prepared for workplace violence fueled by hyper-nationalists with an axe to grind. What’s the best work uniform for someone who might find themselves targeted by a dangerous cult simply for showing up to work?

The Michigan Capitol Commission’s recent ban on open carry guns inside the state Capitol is also not what I would describe as soothing. I don’t think those most likely to storm government property really care about the law, do you? After all, my armed neighbors are the same people who plotted to kidnap Michigan’s governor and forcibly overthrow the government. Why did it take a Capitol takeover to bring about a modicum of common sense?

As a writer, mandates to work from home suited me just fine. It’s where I do my best work, clad in pajamas, the refrigerator and pantry mere feet away. Since orders to work from home became necessary, nothing much about my life has changed. But Matt hasn’t had the same experience, and after nearly one year of reporting to an office barely five feet from our bedroom, he’s eager to return to his professional stomping grounds. He misses face-to-face interactions with his colleagues, lunch at the local Thai joint, and—oddly enough—his collection of suits, ties, and leather shoes, now dusty from lack of use. The office gives him a sense of pride, productivity, and identity that he prefers to keep separate from his home life, to say nothing of the boost reporting to the office gives his mental health. I understand, and I want him to be happy. But his workplace address now fills me with a sense of dread I’d never known before. Thinking of Matt returning to government property to do a job he loves—a job he’s worked hard for and is damned good at—is enough to induce a panic attack.

What’s the best work uniform for someone who might find themselves targeted by a dangerous cult simply for showing up to work?

Although it will likely be months before he’s allowed to return to his building,it’s clear that Trump-loving extremists are in this fight for the long haul, and I’ve asked Matt to follow in the footsteps of both Michigan Sen. Dayna Polehanki and freshman Republican Rep. Peter Meijer, both of whom purchased combat gear to keep on hand at work.

“I’m not wearing a bullet-proof vest to work,” Matt scoffed in bed the other night. I showed him the articles about Polehanki and Meijer.

“You don’t have to wear it to work,” I clarified. “Just keep it in your office. See? They’re just preparing.”

“Well, just don’t buy it on Amazon,” he said. “There are better websites.”

I looked at him, speechless. He offered a mysterious smile. Perhaps I’ll be unwrapping my own tactical gear on Valentine’s Day. How so very romantic. How so very sad.

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Categories
Culture

I’m a College Cheerleader. But Sometimes I Feel More Like a Sex Object For Rich Alumni.

Northwestern University senior Hayden Richardson loves being a cheerleader—the catchy chants, the competitions, and especially the gravity-defying stunts. But in a new lawsuit obtained by ELLE.com, Richardson reveals a darker side to her collegiate cheer career. The 22-year-old senior alleges she has been “treated like a sex object,” both at fundraising events and tailgates, and encouraged to act like a “temptress and courtesan” for rich donors. A Northwestern representative denies her allegations, telling ELLE.com the school “reviewed the complaint and denies that Northwestern violated any law, including Title IX.”

Below, Richardson talks about the sexual harassment detailed in her lawsuit and how she’s working to protect herself—and her teammates.


Before games, a group of us are selected to entertain powerful donors—the ones that fund the majority of Northwestern’s athletics programs. Our job, we are told, is to improve their experience, to be a “pop of color.”

We perform alongside the school marching band, shaking our pom poms and dancing near donor tables. We stay long after the band leaves to mingle and chat and smile for photos. It is not unusual to feel someone’s hand slip from the back of your uniform to below your waist.

The phrase “sex kitten” isn’t too far off to describe how cheerleaders can be treated. Too often, we are brought in to be ogled at, to sexually please and excite. But it’s hard to be peppy when your butt gets squeezed without your permission.

I had a choice to make: Quit my team and move on, or make sure my experiences were not invalidated—and potentially protect other cheerleaders. I knew what I needed to do.

northwestern cheerleader hayden richardson cheering at a football game

Richardson, a cheerleader for Northwestern, filed a complaint in Illinois alleging she was encouraged to present herself “as a new, young sex kitten” for the University’s financial gain.

Courtesy Hayden Richardson

I’m very competitive, always have been. I grew up doing gymnastics and switched to cheerleading in high school, joining both the pom-squad and an elite all-star club team. I love to flip, which is on-the-ground tumbling, and stunt, which is when you get thrown up in the air.

Picture this: A formation of cheerleaders on the ground holding people up. I’m usually the one on the ground, which is called a base. Here’s my unpopular opinion: I love being a base. It’s hard work that requires constant communication with the other person. You get really close, really fast.

My cheer teammates were some of my best friends growing up. We were weird and silly, never not giggling or sneaking snacks out of our backpacks. And don’t even ask me to count the number of sweaty selfies we took after practice.

hayden richardson cheering at a football game

Joining Northwestern’s cheer team literally saved Richardson’s life—it also complicated it more than she could have ever imagined.

Courtesy Hayden Richardson

Getting into Northwestern was a dream come true, and making the cheer team was like the cherry on top. When I arrived on campus for pre-season practices, we went through a rigorous athletic physical test, including an EKG test. My heart had always beat really fast, but the test revealed that I have an electrical heart condition called Wolff-Parkinson-White syndrome.

I sat out our first five practices in preparation for heart surgery. It was terrifying, but God really aligned the stars in a way I never could have imagined. If I hadn’t taken that test, I could have literally passed out and died at any time.

Joining the cheer team saved my life—but it also made my life more complicated than I could have ever expected.

hayden richardson, here in her cheerleading outfit, throwing a football

Richardson says she was “warned” about creepy fans, but advised to “shrug off” their advances.

Hayden Richardson

Our coach warned us that creepy fans might give us a hard time before games, but I didn’t understand what she meant until I experienced it first hand. We were told to walk around parking lot tailgates and stop at tents to say hello and take pictures. It wasn’t unusual for drunk men to put their hands on us or to pick us up without our permission, even when we told them no. We were offered cocaine and alcohol. It was not normal.

My coach’s advice? Shrug it off and say, “Go Cats!” But that didn’t sit right with me. When someone is creepy, aren’t you supposed to run away? Tell them to stop? Say something?

When someone is creepy, aren’t you supposed to run away?

At one football open-bar party, we were instructed to mingle with fans. It was claustrophobic and men were grabbing at us. One guy spilled beer all over my pom poms. It wasn’t a safe setting. It was like these men thought: “Here are some small, vulnerable cheerleaders, and I’m going to be sexually inappropriate.”

My teammates were angry, but not angry enough to confront our coach about it. There was a lot of pissing and moaning, but why complain if you’re not going to do anything?

I went to my coach first, and suggested we rethink how we approach tailgating. That was dismissed. So I went to school administration and said, “We can’t allow this to continue.”


Two years passed and nothing happened. The bad behavior continued, and we were still at risk. I became anxious, stressed, and depressed. Not only was I dealing with my own trauma and invalidation because it felt like no one was listening, but teammates had started to entrust me with their own stories of harassment. All that, plus schoolwork.

When people ask, “Why didn’t you just quit the team?” I tell them that I could not have quit in good conscious quit, and been like, “I’m safe now!”

hayden richardson portrait

Richardson believes sexual harassment in college cheerleading is a “systemic problem.”

Courtesy Hayden Richardson

I will be replaced by a freshman when I graduate, and then what happens? Good luck to her? Hope she can deal with it?

Sexual harassment is a pervasive issue in any space women occupy. It’s especially predominant in cheerleading, because the institutions that want to have these programs, that benefit off of them, don’t do anything to protect their cheerleaders. The programs are not designed to protect athletes, they’re there to make money.

Some of my teammates have been very supportive in my journey to hold people accountable, but there’s still a lot of fear. I don’t blame them. This is a systemic problem. I’m scared, too, but ultimately I know what I’m doing has the potential to protect so many other women.

This interview has been lightly edited and condensed for clarity.

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Categories
Fitness

I’ve Been Suffering With Endometriosis For Years, and It Shouldn’t Have to Be This Way

Two years ago, as I left my office to grab a coffee, I was suddenly overwhelmed with pain in my pelvis. It took everything in me not to double over and scream in the middle of the street. Instead, I grabbed my drink, ran to the bathroom, and sat on the floor until it went away. Moments like this had been occurring more frequently, accompanied by other symptoms such as lower backache and pain after sex. I knew I had to see a doctor.

After discussing my symptoms, the doctor said it sounded like a urinary tract infection and prescribed me a two-week course of antibiotics. I left feeling hopeful that soon all the pain and worry would be gone. But, as the days went by, I didn’t feel any different, so I went back to see what was going on. I left with another course of medicine, just in case the previous tablets hadn’t worked. This went on for six months.

The day before Christmas Eve, my boyfriend and I were heading to our favorite sushi restaurant in London for dinner, and as I hopped into the shower to get ready, I noticed my entire body was covered in a rash. I went straight to the hospital, worried it was an allergic reaction, but after lots of tests, I was told I was fine. My frustration grew at the situation. I had never felt so unwell but was constantly being told I was OK.

At the start of the new year, I stopped taking the medicine and made it a resolution of mine to get to the bottom of this. I asked my doctor if I could be referred to a specialist, and a week later, after a brief and rather uncomfortable internal examination, he told me he was certain I had endometriosis, which I had heard of but admittedly didn’t know much about. The doctor calmly explained that, in endometriosis, the tissue that lines the uterus starts to grow in other areas, such as your ovaries. This tissue then bleeds, but the blood becomes trapped, causing pain and inflammation. He said it was a long-term condition that can cause complications, including infertility. I left his office and ran to the bathroom to cry, something that seemed to be becoming a regular occurrence at this point.

What followed was two weeks of endless scans and ultrasounds, followed by a very last-minute surgery on Valentine’s Day to perform a laparoscopy and remove the tissue. I came out of the operating room feeling an immense amount of pressure in my lower abdomen, and it was days before I could even get myself up to walk to the bathroom. I had never felt so helpless.

Although I find comfort in knowing I’m not alone, I’m still overwhelmed with sadness.

A year later, all I have as a reminder of that day is a couple small scars on my stomach. I will forever be grateful that I was able to get the help I needed and that my symptoms have been reduced. However, sadly there is no cure for endometriosis, and I don’t know if I will be able to have children in the future, something that weighs heavily on my mind.

Since opening up about my journey, I’ve connected with other women who have gone through the same thing — and although I find comfort in knowing I’m not alone, I’m still overwhelmed with sadness. Many of these women have not yet received treatment for their condition, because it’s so widely unrecognized. In fact, it can take up to 10 years for patients to be diagnosed. I hope that by speaking out myself — and encouraging others to do the same — fewer people will have to suffer in silence in the future. And hopefully, with more awareness, we’ll see progress.

Categories
Women's Fashion

Get Into the Valentine’s Day Spirit With These Fragrances and Scented Candles

Photo via instagram.com/nanorcollection

Whether you’ve got an ultra-romantic night in planned or you’re going the Netflix and pizza route, these scents will get you into the Valentine’s Day spirit.

No matter what your Valentine’s Day plans consist of — whether it’s a romantic home-cooked meal with your significant other, an evening of Netflix and takeout, or a snuggle session with your furry friend — one thing we all have in common this year is that our plans, both big and small, will be taking place in the comfort of our homes. The quickest and most surefire way to get into the V-Day spirit? With gorgeous Valentine’s Day fragrances — ones that you can wear or fill your home with. Whether you’re in the mood for something soft and romantic, or bright and uplifting, the below selection of Valentine’s Day fragrances is sure to get you in the mood for however you choose to spend the day.

Louis Vuitton Étoile Filante

The latest fragrance from Louis Vuitton, Étoile Filante (which means ‘shooting star’ in French) launched at the end of January and is the perfect antidote to a cold and gloomy winter season. Ushering in (or perhaps manifesting) sunnier days with floral notes, plus notes of sun-ripened strawberry and jasmine, Étoile Filante is bright and radiant, and just the thing to set the mood for a joyful Valentine’s Day — no matter what your plans may be.

Nanor Effervescent Scented Candle

The Canadian brand’s selection of natural and biodegradable soy wax candles feature timeless scents that you can’t go wrong with. Our favourite, Effervescent, is inspired by a cold, refreshing glass of aperol spritz. Sparkling and bubbly, and featuring notes of peppercorn, lime, ginger and orange flower, this is the perfect candle to light as you pour a glass of bubbly and toast to a warm and cozy Valentine’s Day.

Dolce & Gabbana Dolce Rose

Dolce&Gabbana Dolce Rose perfume

Is there anything that says Valentine’s Day more than a bouquet of roses? The latest Dolce & Gabbana fragrance, Dolce Rose, is an ode to the classic bloom, blending fruity notes of green apple, mandarin and white peach with two different rose notes — rose absolute and rose centifolia.

Boy Smells Fleurshadow

Fleurshadow is the newest launch by cult favourite candle brand Boy Smells. The smoky floral fragrance is made with floral notes like rose, violet and geranium, and finished with smoky incense to balance out the romantic scent.

Atelier Cologne Lemon Island Cologne Absolue Pure Perfume

We don’t need to tell you that a fresh burst of citrus is exactly what the doctor ordered right now. No list of Valentine’s Day fragrances is complete without some crisp, fresh lemon notes and the newly launched Atelier Cologne perfume, aptly and delightfully named Lemon Island, fits the bill. Awaken your senses with notes of lemon (duh), plus warm vanilla and jasmine. Atelier Cologne founder Sylvie Ganter describes the fragrance as, “the warmth of the island, the scent of your skin after bathing in the ocean and wearing sunscreen. There is something sensual, sunny, and happy at the same time.” Sign us up!

Diptyque Eau Capitale Hair Mist

diptyque hair mist

When you think of Valentine’s Day fragrances, you may not immediately think of hair mist, but may we suggest adding one to your scent wardrobe? Diptyque’s new Eau Capitale Hair Mist leaves a light and delicate veil of fragrance on the hair, subtly revealing its notes of rose, bergamot and pink peppercorn only to you and to those who get close enough.

Colekt La Chambre Cologne Concentrée

Swedish unisex fragrance and skincare brand Colekt launched ssense.com at the end of 2020 with a collection of three fragrances, La Chambre, Void and Persona, inspired by the contemporary art scene in Stockholm and made with 89.5% natural ingredients. La Chambre is a versatile, milky scent that you can wear yourself or gift, with notes of pink pepper and lavandin, rounded out with spicy cardamom.

Mugler Angel Nova Eau de Parfum

The first Mugler fragrance developed using an upcycling process (the scent uses already-distilled rose petals, saving them from early destruction and getting two extracts from a single flower), the newly launched Angel Nova perfume is a fruity floral scent with notes of rose, raspberry and lychee. The result? A deliciously sweet, totally Mugler scent that’s perfect for Valentine’s Day.

Fancy Face Inc. French Affair Candle

Leading makeup and hair service brand Fancy Face Inc. recently launched a candle inspired by the scents of Paris. With notes of vanilla, patchouli and spiced tobacco, the candle is warm, alluring and seductive — everything you could want for a Valentine’s Day at home.

Categories
Culture

India’s Farmers Have Been Protesting New Agriculture Laws for Months—Here’s Why

Content warning: Police brutality; suicide. Well into their sixth straight month of striking and protesting, farmers in India continue to demand the repeal of three recently passed agricultural bills that they believe prioritize corporate interests over their own. The protests began in August when the three bills were first unveiled and have continued to grow exponentially as the bills were passed in September. The government has repeatedly refused to grant the demands of farmers and agricultural unions in subsequent meetings.

The protest, at its core, reflects global issues of workers’ rights and labor regulations and the Indian government’s treatment of the protestors has begun to veer dangerously into human rights violation territory, but it still has not been covered widely outside of India (even as people around the world have hosted their own protests in solidarity). That changed, however, when the peaceful protests turned violent at the end of January. On Jan. 26, India’s Republic Day, farmers hosting a planned rally drove their tractors into Delhi’s city center and stormed the capital’s historic Red Fort, where they clashed with police armed with tear gas, batons, and assault rifles. According to the BBC, one protestor died and more than 300 police officers were injured in the clash; more than 200 protestors were subsequently detained, as were eight working journalists, per Human Rights Watch.

In early February, after the Indian government was reported to be restricting internet access in the areas around the ongoing protests, global activists like Rihanna began using their platforms to signal-boost the farmers’ cause.

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As the protest nears the six-month mark, the government shows no sign of accepting the protestors’ demands and therefore has all but ensured their continued civil disobedience. Here’s a primer on the ongoing conflict.

What sparked the farmers’ protest?

The farmers’ protest is centered around conflict over three pieces of agricultural legislation passed in September by India’s Parliament with support from Prime Minister Narendra Modi. According to PRS, a nonprofit Indian legislative research institute, the three bills decrease trade regulations on farmers’ goods, allow for online and interstate trading, enable farmers and buyers to enact exclusive contracts, and limit the government’s ability to regulate the supply of essential commodities.

The bills were presented by Modi and other legislative supporters as giving farmers more freedom to control their own trade and expand their own markets. The farmers, however, argue that the increased competition enabled by this deregulation will give corporate buyers, rather than agricultural workers—who make up nearly 60 percent of India’s population—all the power. Since the buyers will have access to a wider pool of suppliers, they’ll therefore be able to drive down prices, a phenomenon further compounded by the bills’ removal of government-imposed minimum prices for certain goods, which farmers say were already only barely helping them scrape by.

Since the protests started in August, ahead of the bills’ passage, dozens of protestors have died from severe weather conditions, health conditions such as heart attacks, car accidents while approaching the protests, and suicide, according to Al Jazeera.

What do the protestors want?

In short, a complete repeal of the three acts. Representatives from more than 30 agricultural unions that oppose the bills have met with government officials in 11 rounds of talks, to no avail. Officials have invited the farmers to participate in mediation, negotiation, and amendment of the laws, but the farmers have refused, citing their demand that the bills be repealed outright.

“The government has the sharpest of brains working for it. The fact that they’ve not been able to come up with a proposal which meets our demands means that our case is strong,” Kiran Vissa, a union member and a leader of the protests, told The Wire in December, noting that merely amending any of the bills would nullify the others. “So the only way the demands can be met is by a complete repeal of the laws. The government has refused to look into the nature of our demands in a substantive manner.”

The nation’s Supreme Court issued an order in mid-January suspending the bills and appointing a committee to oversee future negotiations, The Guardian reported. The protestors continued to stand by their request for a total cancellation of the legislation, rather than an unsatisfactory compromise, with leaders reportedly saying, “Now is not the time for a committee.”

In response to the suspension order, Bhog Singh Mansa, President of the Indian Farmers Union, echoed Vissa’s sentiments. “A stay is not a solution. We are here to get these laws scrapped completely,” he told the Business Standard. “The government has in a way already agreed to scrap the laws when it said it is willing to incorporate as many amendments as farmers want.”

What has the government said and done?

In the most recent round of talks on Jan. 22, the government said its best offer was a suspension of the bills for up to 18 months, which the farmers once again rejected, as it doesn’t meet their explicit demands. After hitting this roadblock, per The Print, the groups have yet to schedule their next round of talks.

In earlier talks, government officials said they had reached a consensus with the protestors on the issues of decriminalizing necessary controlled fires and dropping a provision that increased power tariffs—though, once again, they stopped far short of agreeing to completely repeal the laws. Officials have labeled this refusal to accept anything less than repeal a sign “that these leaders are not going for a solution—they are continuously wanting to create a movement against the government,” Gopal Krishna Agarwal, a spokesperson for Modi’s Bharatiya Janata Party, told The New York Times.

Throughout the months of protests, supporters of the laws have also claimed that the farmers simply do not understand their provisions, with Modi reportedly blaming the protests on a misinformation campaign by the opposition party. However, the lack of tangible results from the 11 rounds of talks, plus growing evidence of misinformation being spread by the bills’ supporters, prove that the protests are based not on a misunderstanding, but on a fundamental disagreement over the rights and treatment of agricultural workers.

Additionally, on Jan. 26, after the Republic Day violence, the interior ministry announced that it was suspending mobile internet services in several districts surrounding Delhi, where hundreds of thousands of farmers have been camped out for months, the BBC reported. The shutdown was supposed to last only for a few hours, but has been repeatedly extended each day, according to CNN, with officials claiming that the internet shutdowns—essentially cutting off the farmers’ ability to share and receive information—was “in the interest of maintaining public safety and averting public emergency.”

What’s next?

With the bills’ supporters continued refusal to accept the farmers’ demands of total repeal, and no further talks on the schedule, it seems likely that the protests will stretch on for weeks, if not months, though many of the farmers may choose to return to their farms when planting season begins in March.

“We are not going back—that is not in our genetic code,” Ringhu Yaspal, a protestor camped outside of Delhi, told The New York Times in the days after the Republic Day clash. “Agriculture has turned into a slow poison. It’s better to die fighting here.”

Also in the camps, Jagtar Singh Bajwa, a farm leader, told an assembled crowd, “We should not give a message that we are tired, that we are going home,” according to the Times, adding, “We will start over today, with full unity.”

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Fitness

2021 Is the Year I’m Finally Getting Serious About a Good Night’s Sleep — Here’s How

Trends in wellness ebb and flow, but getting rejuvenating sleep has now moved beyond the fad stage and into a full-on movement. Everyone I talk to is obsessed with their sleep quality, getting to sleep faster, and making the most of their downtime. Now, I can count myself as one of those people, when an irritating eye twitch revealed itself to be a symptom of both poor quality and too little sleep. Ever since then, I’ve completely overhauled my sleep routine, and by that I mean I’ve given myself a sleep routine that isn’t falling asleep to Friends.

I’m down to try anything, and I’ve rounded up 20 products that I think will help get you to sleep, and keep you there. If you’re as committed to getting your rest in as I am, but seem to be having trouble, you’ve got to pick up these products. Also, though, turn off the tv. Just trust me on this one. Happy shopping, or should I say, sleep well!

Categories
Women's Fashion

Mouna Traoré in Soft Focus + More Canadian Fashion Moments We Loved This Week

Photography courtesy of Instagram/@_mounatraore.

Including jewel tones and bold gold accessories for combatting the winter blahs.

It’s natural to feel like your wardrobe’s in a slump when February hits. Spring feels so far away, yet we know it’s coming… How to keep things interesting before switching over to warm-weather attire? Maybe you need a little pick-me-up courtesy of vibrant loungewear, or perhaps a bold accessory to banish the winter blahs. From Mouna Traoré’s happy-making sweatpants by Soft Focus to Zeynab’s bold gold jewellery, this week’s Canadian fashion moments will have you smiling.

Mouna Traoré in Soft Focus

There are few nicer places to spend Canadian lockdown in the winter than Muskoka, and actress/filmmaker Mouna Traoré shared a pic of her soaking up its peaceful ambiance in a pair of sunshine-hued sweatpants from Toronto-based brand Soft Focus. Worn with a classic white turtleneck, the ensemble is the epitome of cottage chic — a mood perfect for combatting cabin fever.

Gail G. in Aldo

Accessories take an outfit from simple to standout — and when they play up a monochromatic look, even better. New York-based blogger Gail G. paired emerald green separates with a fun matching fedora from Aldo for an effect that was effortlessly enticing. Now that’s what we call a hat trick!

Zeynab in Armed

If loungewear is the WFH wardrobe staple, then statement jewellery is the glue currently holding our sartorial sanity together. Sporting a selection of gold pieces including a thick band ring from Toronto brand Armed, blogger Zeynab worked those video call angles like a pro.

Categories
Culture

Kendall Jenner and Devin Booker Are Reportedly ‘Still Dating,’ But Without ‘Any Huge Expectations’

Kendall Jenner, the only Kardashian-Jenner who is truly secretive about her love life, is still off the market, according to Entertainment Tonight. A source told the outlet that Jenner is still seeing NBA player Devin Booker. Booker and Jenner were first romantically linked in August 2020, although Jenner has never confirmed their relationship on her own social media.

A source explained to Entertainment Tonight today that Jenner and Booker, six months in, are “still dating and it works because they keep it simple.” The source said the two don’t really put pressure on their relationship at all, and it’s not very serious at this point.

“There aren’t any huge expectations or crazy commitments on either side,” the source said. “They have gotten a lot closer, but Kendall’s schedule is particularly super busy and Devin is very understanding of that.”

That source added that Jenner, 25, really embraces her independence: “[She] is also very much her own individual and likes her off time with family and friends and having her space.”

Jenner spoke way back in April 2017 about why she doesn’t broadcast who she’s dating. “I’m not marrying anyone,” she told Harper’s Bazaar then. “I’m not engaged. There’s nothing long-term or serious like that in my life. If I’m not fully, fully in it with someone, why would I make it public to everyone else? If I don’t even know what it is, why would I let the world know?”

“I think it’s something sacred,” she added of relationships. “It’s something between two people, and nobody else’s opinion needs to be involved in it. People want to start drama. If I had a boyfriend, people are going to say all this stuff that’s probably going to cause us to break up.”

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Fitness

Finish This 20-Minute Full-Body Pilates Workout Feeling Strong and Confident

It doesn’t matter whether you’ve never done Pilates in your life or you’ve spent years on the mat. Pilates teacher Isa Welly created this 20-minute morning Pilates routine for all levels, so if you’ve always wanted to try the low-impact workout modality, now’s your chance! This is a full-body Pilates flow that starts off nice and easy with some Cat and Cows, and moves into drawing circles with your leg extended (holy glutes!), Pilates push-ups (holy arms!), and plank hip twists (holy core!). 20 minutes will just fly by, and by the end, you’ll feel energized, strong, confident, and pumped to tackle the rest of your day.

Love trying new workouts? Want a community to share your fitness goals with? Come join our Facebook group POPSUGAR Workout Club. There, you can find advice on making the best out of every sweat session and everything else you need to help you on your road to healthy living.

Categories
Beauty

Watch the 2021 ELLE International Beauty Awards Ceremony

Every year, the ELLE International Beauty Awards ceremony takes place and celebrate the best of beauty. This year, for the first time, the ceremony is fully digital.

Since 2013, the ELLE International Beauty Awards have celebrated beauty and have united ELLE beauty editors from around the globe. The editors have tested and tried out beauty products from a range of brands, to find out which ones are the ultimate must-have beauty goods to add to your routine, and to incorporate a touch of glamour into your life. The top 16 winning products fall into six different categories: Makeup, Face care, Body care, Hair care, Green, and the winning Fragrance of the year. The team at ELLE International have come together to bring you a ceremony, which you can to enjoy from anywhere in the world. Watch the video and see the winners listed below.


The Winners

Makeup

Mascara: FENTY BEAUTY – Full Frontal Volume Lift & Curl Mascara
Lip Color:
HERMÈS – Rouge Hermès Matte Lipstick
Foundation:
GIVENCHY – Teint Couture City Balm

Face Care

Moisturizer: LANCÔME – Hydra Zen Anti-Stress Glow Liquid Moisturizer
Anti-Aging:
DIOR – Capture Totale Super Potent Serum
Mask:
CHANEL – Hydra Beauty Camellia Repair Mask

Body Care

Suncare: LANCASTER – Sun Beauty Nude Skin Sensation Sun Protective Water SPF50
Body Moisturizer:
SISLEY – Velvet Nourishing Body Cream with Saffron Flowers
Anti-Cellulite:
CAUDALIE – Vinosculpt Lift & Firm Body Cream

Hair Care

Shampoo: KÉRASTASE – Genesis Bain Hydra-Fortifiant
Conditioning:
AVEDA – Botanical Repair™ Intensive Strengthening Masque – Rich
Hair
Styling: DYSON – Dyson Corrale™ Straightener

Fragrance

LOUIS VUITTON – California Dream

Green

Green Make Up: ILIA – Color Haze Multi-Use Pigment
Green Face Care:
TATA HARPER – Water-Lock Moisturizer
Green Hair Care:
LOVE BEAUTY & PLANET – Coconut Water & Mimosa Flower Shampoo Bar

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Women's Fashion

Texture Talk: 4 Protective Hairstyles That Will Give Natural Hair Life

Images courtesy of Imaxtree. Design by Danielle Campbell.

This is Texture Talk, a weekly column that deep dives into the dynamic world of curly hair.

Through all the twist-outs, wash-and-gos and high puffs in my six years of being natural, protective styles that use synthetic or human hair extensions reign supreme as my favourite way to style my afro-textured hair and help it thrive.

From cold winter air to wet summer humidity, protective styles tuck your own hair away from the elements, encouraging growth and moisture retention. They also prevent product overload and keep your hands out of your hair which helps avoid breakage, says Zaynab Logun, a stylist in Edmonton who is known for her protective styles that incorporate extensions. Installing may be time-consuming at the get-go, but adding in hair is key to making protective styles long-lasting and low-maintenance, which will make your morning routine a breeze. “With extensions, a hairstyle can last up to six to eight weeks,” says Glenna Sandy, a Toronto-based stylist who has been styling natural hair for over 15 years.

But here’s the thing: Sandy says people can make the mistake of turning to these styles when their hair is too fragile to support the added hair, so to avoid damage, make sure your hair is well-moisturized and fairly healthy before trying them out. Logun and Sandy recommend prepping your hair by washing and deep conditioning and using a light leave-in conditioner. Next, it’s important to choose a style compatible with your hair texture and density (the number of individual strands per square inch on your head). If your hair is fine and low density, you risk breakage with a heavy style. And when done the right way, protective styles shouldn’t hurt you or your head, so avoid styles that are too tight, which can cause headaches and traction alopecia.

With this in mind, we’ve rounded up four popular added-hair protective styles to consider for your next in-salon appointment and the key need-to-knows for each.

Box Braids

Box braids are three strand braids that get their name from the square parting that is often used when doing the style, but they can refer to any parting shape. Classic box braids involve parting a section of hair, wrapping extension hair around it and braiding the extension hair with your own. A variation of this style are knotless braids, where the braid starts with your own hair and extension hair is then fed in as you braid. This particular style is low-tension, lightweight and currently Logun’s best selling hairstyle. For both styles, a smooth synthetic hair like kanekalon is used.

Chair time: This style typically takes three to six hours to install depending on the size and length.

Life span: Box braids last six to eight weeks with proper care.

At-home maintenance: Sandy recommends spritzing your scalp with rose water daily to hydrate and clear buildup, and oiling your scalp once a week to keep it moisturized. Both hair experts like castor oil. If you wash your braids, use a clarifying shampoo but skip conditioner, as it’s hard to rinse out and it can cause buildup. Tying your hair up and covering it with a silk or satin scarf or a bonnet while you sleep will keep your braids fresh.

Senegalese Twists

Senegalese twists are a two-strand braiding technique that takes extension hair and twists it together with your natural hair from the root. Traditionally kanekalon extensions are used for a silkier finish but the same technique can be done using kinkier textures of synthetic hair, often called marley hair. A variation of this style are passion twists which are done with curly synthetic hair, creating a textured look. Passion twists can be installed by crocheting; taking pre-twisted hair and using a crochet tool to loop and tie the twist into single braided or cornrowed hair. Crochet styles provide low-tension and lightweight alternatives to traditional twists.

Chair time: Generally two to six hours.

Life span: Senegalese twists lasts six to eight weeks but passion twists typically last only three weeks because of the hair texture.

At-home maintenance: Unlike braids, your hair is less secure and washing it will cause your hair to stick out from the style, so stick to oiling your scalp and spraying rose water to keep buildup at bay.

Faux Locs

Meant to imitate natural locs, faux locs are created by wrapping hair, often marley, around braided sections until the entire braid is hidden. Faux locs are a higher-tension style, so if you have fine hair, crochet locs are a good alternative. These employ the same technique as crochet twists and take less time to install.

Chair time: Faux locs can take five to 10 hours depending on the length and hair used. For crochet locs, it takes about two to four hours.

Life span: This style can last up to two and a half months, but beware of keeping it in too long as the take-down process becomes harder.

At-home maintenance: Faux locs can’t be washed so stick to the same scalp cleaning and moisturizing methods, like rose water and castor oil. If you have issues with buildup, Logun suggests using a face towel to scrub your scalp with shampoo and then using a wet towel to clean residue.

Fulani Braids

Fulani braids are named after the traditional cornrow styles of the Fulani people, who live mainly in West Africa. Using kanekalon hair, this braiding technique incorporates smaller cornrow patterns divided in the centre, as well as cornrows braided towards the front at the sides of your head. Sandy notes that language is fluid and stylists define Fulani braids differently, so make sure to find an inspirational photo of the style you want.

Chair time: Three to five hours.

Life span: You’re looking at about three weeks before your cornrows begin to frizz.

At-home maintenance: Any water will contribute to aging the style faster, so skip the rose water spray for this style and just oil your scalp. The cornrows allow your scalp to breathe and be easily moisturized. As always, cover your hair when you sleep to help prolong the style.

Categories
Life & Love

Your Husband Cheated. Should You Be Able to Sue His Mistress?

“Did you say things like you love Elizabeth Clark?”

“Yes. She was my wife. Of course I would have said that at the time.”

“Okay. And did she say she loved you back?”

“Yeah, I’m sure.”

“And did you love her at the time?”

“No.”

“You’re saying you didn’t love your wife.”

“No.”

“You just said you loved her?”

“Yes.”

That was the first time that Elizabeth Clark was in the same room as her ex-husband, Adam, and his new partner, Kimberly Barrett, the woman he’d cheated with. Though Adam and Elizabeth had been sharing custody of their two children since they separated, she hadn’t really seen Kimberly “face-to-face,” just brief flashes through car windows and the like, not “in the flesh.” But now here was Kimberly, seated to Elizabeth’s left, while her husband of nearly eight years sat on the witness stand answering questions about the demise of their marriage. As he spoke, Elizabeth tried not to look at anyone but the lawyers and the judge. But she believed Adam was lying. At the time of their separation, he had told her how much he truly cared about her, and she believed him. So much so that she sued Adam and Kimberly. In particular, she sued Kimberly for “alienation of affection,” a legal term used to describe the breakup of a marriage by a third party.

Cases like hers are rare in the U.S. overall, but they are somewhat common, though controversial, in North Carolina, where Elizabeth and Adam live. For such a claim to be successful, the plaintiff has to show that some degree of love existed in the marriage; that this existing love and affection was alienated and destroyed; and that the malicious conduct of a third party contributed to its loss. To defend herself against the lawsuit’s claims, Kimberly argued Adam’s affection couldn’t be alienated if it didn’t exist in the first place. As his testimony went on, Elizabeth couldn’t help but break down crying. But, she says now, “The only way to help yourself is standing up for yourself.”

elizabeth jamison

Alienation of affection lawsuits are rare in the U.S. overall, but they are somewhat common, though controversial, in North Carolina.

MIKE BELLEME

The story of how Elizabeth and Adam Clark got to the courthouse that day in August 2019 begins about a year earlier at a restaurant in Fayetteville, North Carolina, where Elizabeth was working as a bartender. One night as she poured beers for two attorneys, Michael Porter and Jose Coker, she told them about how her marriage had ended because her husband had cheated with another woman and gotten her pregnant. Porter and Coker said they thought they could help her, and the next day, Elizabeth found herself sitting in Porter’s office laying out evidence as they explained how she might be able to sue for alienation of affection.

The legal argument behind such cases dates back to colonial times, when wives were considered the property of their husbands. Under common law inherited from England, men (and only men) could sue for harms they faced when women were unfaithful. Sex wasn’t a prerequisite. A mother-in-law who poisoned a wife against her husband could be labeled as an alienator; so could a church that convinced a wife to join the convent.

In the nineteenth and early twentieth centuries, alienation lawsuits flourished in the U.S. Even one of the nation’s most esteemed families was ensnared: In 1911, the millionaire playboy Alfred Vanderbilt married a divorcée whose husband threatened to sue for alienation. (The two settled out of court.) Many believed the lawsuits helped to reinforce good morals, though critics argued such policies were sexist. In response to demands for equality, states started to enact Married Women’s Property Acts in the 1800s, granting married women the ability to own property and collect wages—and file alienation of affection lawsuits.

“The only way to help yourself is standing up for yourself.”

But the move toward equality also caused a reconsideration of the legal tactic altogether. Could spouses really be considered property that could be stolen? Over time, many came to believe the markers of a modern marriage—respect, admiration, teamwork—could not be mandated by a court. The media showed how claims could be used for blackmail, greed, and revenge, and in the early 1900s, states began repealing alienation of affection statutes. Today, they are allowed in just six states—Hawaii, New Mexico, North Carolina, Mississippi, South Dakota, Utah—but are infrequent in all but North Carolina, which has the highest number of such lawsuits in the nation. The Family Law Section of the state’s bar association has tried to persuade legislators to revoke the tort, but has been repeatedly thwarted by socially conservative organizations. “This tort has a strong lobby,” says Carolyn Woodruff, a North Carolina attorney. Experts estimate the state sees about 200 such cases each year. Both men and women sue, typically targeting defendants capable of paying the awards. Because lawyers are “savvy” about vetting cases, Woodruff says, “most plaintiffs win.”

When her courtroom battle began in the summer of 2019, Elizabeth Clark knew what she was up against. Both she and Adam took turns on the stand describing their marriage. They had gotten engaged in 2010 after dating for more than a year. They planned their wedding in a hurry because Adam, then a captain in the U.S. Army, was stationed in another state. She bought a wedding dress at Kohl’s, assembled the cake from a mix in a box, and invited whatever family could make it. But, as she told the jury, the weekend of the ceremony, Elizabeth discovered Adam had been messaging other women. He consoled her, explaining it away, and Elizabeth celebrated as best she could. Still, after the wedding, Elizabeth couldn’t shake the feeling that Adam was cheating. She created an ad on Craigslist, where she had found him trolling for women, to see if he would reply. Instead, she wound up connecting with a man she’d previously dated, she told the jury, and the two of them carried on an affair for a few months before Elizabeth and Adam confronted each other about their mutual infidelities and promised to recommit.

After that rocky start, things seemed to improve. They went to marriage retreats, talked to a chaplain, and tried to strengthen their bond by writing love letters. Their son was born in 2014, their daughter in 2015. Adam proved himself a devoted father. “I thought it was going very amazing,” Elizabeth told the jury. “He was very loving, very caring, very affectionate.” Little did she know, Adam still had reservations, which he confessed to years later in court. In the spring of 2016, Adam met Kimberly, an army ob-gyn, when he was sent to Virginia for several months of leadership training. He and the 14 others in his class, including Kimberly, became close, working out as a group and periodically having dinner on weekends. Elizabeth felt a change in her husband’s behavior. She testified, “He wasn’t coming home as often. He started staying up there. He wasn’t texting me as often.” Late one night, she called his room and couldn’t reach him. Through a tracking app, she discovered his phone “pinging [at] the other end of the hotel.”

When Elizabeth asked Adam about his changing behavior toward her, he brushed her off. But when he came home one July weekend, Elizabeth checked his phone and saw he was texting with someone. When she called the number, she heard a woman’s voice, she told the jury.

elizabeth jamison

Elizabeth Jamison (formerly Clark) and one of her lawyers, Michael Porter, who told her she might be able to sue for alienation of affection after learning of her husband’s affair.

MIKE BELLEME

Elizabeth saved the number and was able to figure out the woman’s name. When she asked Adam if he knew someone named Kimberly, he insisted they were just friends. But, Elizabeth would testify, she remained suspicious. Then, in August, she got the confirmation she was seeking: Adam had sent Kimberly a photo of his penis.

Two weeks later, Elizabeth and Adam separated. North Carolina mandates a separation agreement be in place for a year before couples legally file for divorce. The period is supposed to be a time for both parties to think about their decision. Elizabeth and Adam continued to see each other in the messy, complicated way many newly fractured couples do. “He would keep coming over and seeing the kids and in between—I mean, I was doing a lot of crying. And he was holding me, and we had sex a couple of times,” she told the jury. They continued to see each other on and off for months. She wanted to make the marriage work. In August of 2017, to keep him interested when they were apart, she sent him a topless photo.

The final straw came soon afterward, when Elizabeth learned Kimberly was pregnant. Adam had given her his sperm to use for IVF treatment, according to trial testimony. Kimberly told Elizabeth’s lawyer in court she wasn’t aware of the extent of the sexual relationship Adam was still having with his wife at the time:

“Did your partner tell you that he was still telling his wife [at] the time that he loved her and sending sex videos to each other?”

“No.”

“…What was he telling you about the relationship?”

“He told me their relationship was over, that the divorce would be finalized September 11th.”

“He lied to you; didn’t he?”

“I don’t know—”

“He didn’t tell you about that?”

“He didn’t tell me about this.”

elizabeth jamison

The final straw came when Elizabeth learned Kimberly was pregnant. Adam had given her his sperm to use for IVF treatment, according to trial testimony. In August 2018, Elizabeth filed her alienation of affection lawsuit.

MIKE BELLEME

It is not unusual to see wronged spouses in North Carolina be awarded millions of dollars in damages. In 2011, a Wake County judge awarded what is believed to be the largest alienation of affection judgment in state history—$30 million—to Carol Puryear, against Betty Devin for breaking up Carol’s marriage to her husband, Donald Puryear. Proponents say these cases protect families by deterring infidelity and treating marriage as a contract like any other. Without such repercussions, what is there to prevent cheating? “If you see these large monetary awards, and you’re considering having an affair, you might think again about it, right?” says Marcia A. Yablon-Zug, a family law professor at the University of South Carolina School of Law. On the other hand, she says, some of the judgments in North Carolina have been excessively punishing, especially given how common adultery is. And while such cases are known as “heart balm”—torts meant to soothe the heart of someone who has been wronged—the acrimony caused by the lawsuits arguably creates more strife for the plaintiff and their family, especially when there are children involved. Others say the fact that such cases are rampant in North Carolina but nowhere else calls their legitimacy into question.

“The good outweighs the harm,” insists Porter, Elizabeth’s attorney. “The alternative would be that she would have no recourse.” Elizabeth and Adam’s divorce was finalized in February 2018; she received nine months of alimony, or $4,950.

In the months that followed the divorce, Elizabeth and Adam’s relationship grew more combative. Adam and Kimberly built a house on land he had once shared with Elizabeth. Over time, Adam disputed the amount of child support he had agreed to during the separation and ultimately stopped paying it, according to trial testimony. Elizabeth also saw the topless photo of herself that she had sent Adam (and only Adam) posted online in a solicitation for sex. (An investigation later traced the origin of the photo to Adam’s IP address.)

elizabeth jamison

Elizabeth was awarded $3.2 million. Adam was ordered to pay $2 million; Kimberly, the remaining $1.2 million. While it is unlikely Elizabeth will receive the full award, her lawyer is confident she will receive some portion over time.

MIKE BELLEME

In August 2018, Elizabeth filed her alienation of affection lawsuit. In court, Porter presented Kimberly as desperate to start a family. “Ladies and gentlemen, she had spent her whole adult life on her career, which unfortunately sometimes leads you to a place where you’re over 40 and you realize, Oh no, I never had that family that I also want.… And now here I am and it’s getting too late.” So, Porter argued, she decided to steal the life that Elizabeth had built for herself: husband, children, and home. The defendants’ lawyers presented the marriage as troubled from the start and Elizabeth as an adulterer in her own right.

After 51 minutes of deliberation, the jury came back with a verdict: Elizabeth was awarded $3.2 million. Adam was ordered to pay $2 million; Kimberly, the remaining $1.2 million. The judge also awarded Elizabeth $10,000 in liquidated damages under North Carolina’s so-called “revenge porn” statute for the topless image Adam had posted. While it is unlikely Elizabeth will receive the full award, Porter is confident she will receive some portion over time. Adam and Kimberly, who have since married, are appealing.

Elizabeth reverted back to her maiden name, Jamison, and has also remarried. When she meets the new Mr. and Mrs. Clark, the interactions are formal. Even though, at press time, she hasn’t seen any of the money, Elizabeth says she’s gained something intangible from the experience. “I just want people to know that it’s okay. Help yourself. It’s the only way,” she tells me. “This was my way of going, ‘Don’t be afraid. Speak out.’”

This story appears in the February 2021 issue.

Categories
Culture

Twitter Reacts to the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly of the 2021 Golden Globes Nominations

Isn’t the definition of insanity doing the same thing over and over, but expecting a different result? It’s 2021, and the Hollywood Foreign Press Association has once again filled me with equal parts joy, confusion, and rage for the umpteenth year in a row.

At face value, the 2021 Golden Globe nominations might seem divergent from past patterns: Many first-timers were nominated, including Kaley Cuoco for her performance in The Flight Attendant, and new best drama contenders include Lovecraft Country and The Undoing. That’s great, but expected—excellent new shows should be nominated. That’s the point of an awards show!

What remains starkly the same is the lack of true grit from the HFPA. They’ll undoubtedly expect a pat on the back for nominating three women in the best director category, after shutting them out entirely for the past six years. It’s fantastic that One Night in Miami‘s Regina King, Promising Young Woman‘s Emerald Fennell, and Nomadland‘s Chloe Zhao all earned nods. It’s something akin to progress; it should be celebrated. But this is what happens when some of the most visionary minds in Hollywood are repeatedly disrespected: The wins become so incremental, the awards so vacuous, that they seem to lose their power entirely. It’s difficult to celebrate these moments when they’re too little, too late.

What’s equally frustrating is the signal these nominations send. The Golden Globes are, ostensibly, meant to represent the best in film and television. But Michaela Coel’s I May Destroy You, one of the most universally praised shows in recent memory, received not a single nod. Neither did Spike Lee’s acclaimed Da 5 Bloods. Lovecraft Country‘s stupendous performers earned no acting nominations. The Arkansas-set, American-directed Minari was excluded from the Best Picture category due to an HFPA rule that states a film can’t be nominated if more than 50 percent of its spoken dialogue is not in English.

If the Golden Globes aren’t representing what’s truly the best in film and television, that makes them boring at best, obsolete at worst. But don’t take my word for it. Twitter’s plenty unhappy, too.

Let’s start with those snubs, shall we?

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Ah, and then there’s the particularly egregious nomination of Emily in Paris for Best Television Series, Musical or Comedy. Folks, we can all appreciate the escapist absurdism of a young American pretending she knows how to fix a French company’s social media with cute pictures of croissants, but really—this is the best we can offer?

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The biggest question from today’s announcement: When will we decide it’s time to stop paying attention to these awards, as they continually prove their disconnect from reality?

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Categories
Fitness

Take This as a Sign That You Need a New Workout Crop Top in Your Life

As workout enthusiasts, we feel like we try all different kinds of workout clothes, and we’ve become experts on what we want to wear when we’re moving. For us, that’s a workout crop top. For one thing, we love high-waisted leggings, and the proportions of a crop top are usually perfect with that waistline. Sometimes you show a little skin, and other times there’s perfect coverage. Crop tops are breathable, flexible, and frankly, the only thing we want to be wearing right now.

These 21 tops are the current stars of our workout wardrobe. Some have built-in sports bras, some are long-sleeved, and others are super loose, but they all deserve your attention. Keep on reading to shop our picks!

Categories
Women's Fashion

Have a Fuller Bust? This Luxe Lingerie Brand Should Be on Your Radar

Photography courtesy of Instagram/@azairaintimates.

Azaira Intimates offers lavish pieces with cup sizes up to H.

With Valentine’s Day approaching, lingerie is on the minds of many — but often those pondering such pretty pieces find the size selection scarce when seeking out luxurious undergarments. This was the experience of London-based entrepreneur Evangeline Poku, who launched Azaira Intimates in 2017.

“I’ve always had bigger boobs, since I was quite young,” she notes. Poku says that it wasn’t until she was planning for her honeymoon that she decided to splash out on some saucy separates and her options were limited, to say the least.

“My size wasn’t there,” she recalls of her effort to purchase higher-end lingerie, adding that what was available didn’t appeal to her at all, both design and quality-wise. Poku highlights this void as part of the size discrimination issue that has pervaded the fashion industry for decades, from intimates to evening wear with built-in bustlines that have traditionally been woefully inadequate for many.

“The luxury industry doesn’t often consider people with a bigger bust,” she says. And her lacking lingerie experience pushed her to create her own brand — one that mixes old school glamour with contemporary appeal.

azaira intimates
Photography by Beth Elstone.

Azaira Intimates’ offerings include bra and underwear styles that boast lush embroidery rendering floral and abstract motifs. “I wanted something that was delicate but impactful,” Poku says of how she landed on the scribble-like texture featured in some of the pieces. “Something that hadn’t been done in the lingerie space.”

She says that she’s inspired by the “glitz and glamour” of the ’70s and ’80s — note the playful suspenders offered by the brand as well; yet Poku aims to craft items that also have an enduring nature to them, too.

“We live in a society that has two extremes,” she says. “We have people who are embracing sustainability and doing things correctly. And then we have [others] focusing on trends and different seasons. With our brand, we don’t look at timelines or seasons. When we create pieces, we really think about them. And I hope they stand the test of time.”

But the lavish selection doesn’t resonate with customers simply based on beauty alone. Poku says she receives feedback constantly from her community, who like herself had felt deeply unseen by luxury labels for much of their lives. “I hear from people that [the pieces] are so beautiful,” she says. “But also that we’re a brand that considers them as people.”

Categories
Culture

Golden Globes 2021: The Biggest Surprises and Snubs

In these strange and unprecedented times, it’s comforting to have familiar rituals to fall back on. Though many of our favorite traditions have been curtailed by COVID, from Super Bowl parties to holiday travel, there’s one winter habit that’s completely unchanged this year: getting good and mad at the Golden Globe nominations.

Though awards season is operating on a weird and delayed schedule this year, the ceremonies will still take place, and this morning’s Globe noms marked the official beginning of the circuit. The Hollywood Foreign Press Association came through with a selection of nominees that include plenty of worthy contenders—alongside picks so random (and undeserved!) you can only scratch your head. Here are the biggest surprises and most outrageous snubs from the 2021 nominations.

Snub: I May Destroy You & Michaela Coel

This omission is so egregious that “snub” doesn’t even cover it. Michaela Coel’s I May Destroy You was arguably the best show of 2020, a wholly original and dizzyingly bold chronicle of a young woman trying to rebuild her life after a sexual assault. In the era of Peak TV, it’s rare to feel as though you’re watching something genuinely new, and that feeling permeated every frame of this searing, surprising show. Leaving the show out of the Best Drama category is bad enough, but for Coel to miss out on a nomination for either acting or writing is outrageous.

Snub: Jurnee Smollett (Lovecraft Country)

HBO’s Lovecraft Country did earn a nomination for Best Drama Series, but none of its actors were recognized for their work. Jurnee Smollett, whose breakout lead performance as Letitia Lewis anchored the series, is the strangest absence of all, particularly since she was widely tipped for some much-deserved recognition.

Surprise: Emily in Paris

Look, we all hate-binged Emily in Paris, we all enjoyed the memes, we all understand the show’s frothy appeal. But to name it one of the five best dramas of the year is straight batshit.

Snub: The supporting cast of Mrs. America

This shouldn’t really come as a surprise, since nominating the movie star while ignoring everybody else is an extremely Golden Globes move. But FX’s miniseries about conservative firebrand Phyllis Schlafly was stacked from top to bottom with extraordinary, nuanced performances from a largely female cast, including Uzo Aduba as Shirley Chisholm, Rose Byrne as Gloria Steinem, and Margot Martindale as Bella Abzug—all of whom deserved a nod.

Surprise: A welcome spotlight moment for female directors

In the 77-year history of the Golden Globes, the Hollywood Foreign Press Association has nominated a grand total of five female directors. In 2018, Natalie Portman memorably called out the ceremony onstage for its lack of female directing nominees. And this year, the HFPA took notice, nominating three women in its Best Director, Motion Picture category. One Night in Miami’s Regina King earned a well-deserved nod, as did Promising Young Womans Emerald Fennell and Nomadland’s Chloé Zhao.

Snub: Black directors and performers in the Best Drama category

It’s baffling how many superb films made by Black directors—and starring Black talent—were omitted from the Best Drama category, despite performances from those films recognized in the acting categories. Spike Lee’s Da 5 Bloods, Shaka King’s Judas and the Black Messiah, George C. Wolfe’s Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom and Regina King’s One Night in Miami (which earned her a Best Director nom) were all absent from Best Drama. All five of the nominated movies focus mostly on white characters.

Snub: Minari

Lee Isaac Chung’s acclaimed drama about a Korean family who move to Arkansas to start a farm in the 1980s has been widely tipped as an awards frontrunner this year. Unsurprisingly, the internet was furious when the Globes placed the film in the Foreign Language category rather than Best Drama. Thanks to a controversial HFPA rule, Minari is ineligible for Best Drama because a majority of its dialogue is in a language other than English—and according to Chung, the movie’s distributor chose to enter it in the Foreign Language category rather than Best Drama. So while this may not meet the technical definition of a snub, it’s still a disappointment.

Surprise: James Corden

Asked to guess which member of The Prom‘s star-studded cast would be nominated for a Globe, most smart pundits (and honestly most regular people) would probably have put their money on Meryl Streep. But instead, it was Corden’s widely panned performance that earned the sole acting nomination for Ryan Murphy’s splashy musical dramedy.


The Nominees

Best Motion Picture – Drama

  • The Father
  • Mank
  • Nomadland
  • Promising Young Woman
  • The Trial of the Chicago 7

    Best Motion Picture, Musical or Comedy

    • Borat Subsequent Moviefilm
    • Hamilton
    • Music
    • Palm Springs
    • The Prom

      Best Director, Motion Picture

      • Emerald Fennell, Promising Young Woman
      • David Fincher, Mank
      • Regina King, One Night in Miami
      • Aaron Sorkin, The Trial of the Chicago 7
      • Chloé Zhao, Nomadland

        Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture, Drama

        • Viola Davis, Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom
        • Andra Day, The United States vs. Billie Holiday
        • Vanessa Kirby, Pieces of a Woman
        • Frances McDormand, Nomadland
        • Carey Mulligan, Promising Young Woman

          Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture, Musical or Comedy

          • Maria Bakalova, Borat Subsequent Moviefilm
          • Kate Hudson, Music
          • Michelle Pfeiffer, French Exit
          • Rosamund Pike, I Care a Lot
          • Anya Taylor-Joy, Emma

            Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role in any Motion Picture

            • Glenn Close, Hillbilly Elegy
            • Olivia Colman, The Father
            • Jodie Foster, The Mauritanian
            • Amanda Seyfried, Mank
            • Helena Zengel, News of the World

              Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture, Drama

              • Riz Ahmed, Sound of Metal
              • Chadwick Boseman, Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom
              • Anthony Hopkins, The Father
              • Gary Oldman, Mank
              • Tahar Rahim, The Mauritanian

                Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture, Musical or Comedy

                • Sacha Baron Cohen, Borat Subsequent Moviefilm
                • James Corden, The Prom
                • Lin-Manuel Miranda, Hamilton
                • Dev Patel, The Personal History of David Copperfield
                • Andy Samberg, Palm Springs

                  Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role in any Motion Picture

                  • Sacha Baron Cohen, The Trial of the Chicago 7
                  • Daniel Kaluuya, Judas and the Black Messiah
                  • Jared Leto, The Little Things
                  • Bill Murray, On the Rocks
                  • Leslie Odom Jr., One Night in Miami

                    Best Screenplay, Motion Picture

                    • Emerald Fennell, Promising Young Woman
                    • Jack Fincher, Mank
                    • Aaron Sorkin, The Trial of the Chicago 7
                    • Florian Zeller and Christopher Hampton, The Father
                    • Chloé Zhao, Nomadland

                      Best Original Score, Motion Picture

                      • Alexandre Desplat, The Midnight Sky
                      • Ludwig Göransson, Tenet
                      • James Newton Howard, News of the World
                      • Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross, Mank
                      • Trent Reznor, Atticus Ross and Jon Batiste, Soul

                        Best Original Song, Motion Picture

                        • “Fight for You,” Judas and the Black Messiah
                        • “Hear My Voice,” The Trial of the Chicago 7
                        • “Io Sì (Seen),” The Life Ahead
                        • “Speak Now,” One Night in Miami
                        • “Tigress & Tweed,” The United States vs. Billie Holiday

                          Best Motion Picture, Animated

                          • The Croods: A New Age
                          • Onward
                          • Over the Moon
                          • Soul
                          • Wolfwalkers

                            Best Motion Picture, Foreign Language

                            • Another Round
                            • La Llorona
                            • The Life Ahead
                            • Minari
                            • Two of Us

                              Best Television Series, Drama

                              • The Crown
                              • Lovecraft Country
                              • The Mandalorian
                              • Ozark
                              • Ratched

                                Best Television Series, Musical or Comedy

                                • Emily in Paris
                                • The Flight Attendant
                                • The Great
                                • Schitt’s Creek
                                • Ted Lasso

                                  Best Limited Series, Anthology Series or a Motion Picture made for Television

                                  • Normal People
                                  • The Queen’s Gambit
                                  • Small Axe
                                  • The Undoing
                                  • Unorthodox

                                    Best Performance by an Actress in a Television Series, Drama

                                    • Olivia Colman, The Crown
                                    • Jodie Comer, Killing Eve
                                    • Emma Corrin, The Crown
                                    • Laura Linney, Ozark
                                    • Sarah Paulson, Ratched

                                      Best Performance by an Actress in a Television Series, Musical or Comedy

                                      • Lily Collins, Emily in Paris
                                      • Kaley Cuoco, The Flight Attendant
                                      • Elle Fanning, The Great
                                      • Jane Levy, Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist
                                      • Catherine O’Hara, Schitt’s Creek

                                        Best Performance by an Actress in a Limited Series, Anthology Series or a Motion Picture Made for Television

                                        • Cate Blanchett, Mrs. America
                                        • Daisy Edgar-Jones, Normal People
                                        • Shira Haas, Unorthodox
                                        • Nicole Kidman, The Undoing
                                        • Anya Taylor-Joy, The Queen’s Gambit

                                          Best Performance by an Actress in a Television Supporting Role

                                          • Gillian Anderson, The Crown
                                          • Helena Bonham Carter, The Crown
                                          • Julia Garner, Ozark
                                          • Annie Murphy, Schitt’s Creek
                                          • Cynthia Nixon, Ratched

                                            Best Performance by an Actor in a Television Series, Drama

                                            • Jason Bateman, Ozark
                                            • Josh O’Connor, The Crown
                                            • Bob Odenkirk, Better Call Saul
                                            • Al Pacino, Hunters
                                            • Matthew Rhys, Perry Mason

                                              Best Performance by an Actor in a Television Series, Musical or Comedy

                                              • Don Cheadle, Black Monday
                                              • Nicholas Hoult, The Great
                                              • Eugene Levy, Schitt’s Creek
                                              • Jason Sudeikis, Ted Lasso
                                              • Ramy Youssef, Ramy

                                                Best Performance by an Actor in a Limited Series or a Motion Picture Made for Television

                                                • Bryan Cranston, Your Honor
                                                • Jeff Daniels, The Comey Rule
                                                • Hugh Grant, The Undoing
                                                • Ethan Hawke, The Good Lord Bird
                                                • Mark Ruffalo, I Know This Much is True

                                                  Best Performance by an Actor in a Television Supporting Role

                                                  • John Boyega, Small Axe
                                                  • Brendan Gleeson, The Comey Rule
                                                  • Daniel Levy, Schitt’s Creek
                                                  • Jim Parsons, Hollywood
                                                  • Donald Sutherland, The Undoing

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                                                    Categories
                                                    Fitness

                                                    This Irish Dancer on TikTok Combines Modern Music With Traditional Moves, and We’re Obsessed

                                                    Morgan Bullock first started taking dance classes when she was three years old and fell in love with Irish dance when she was 10. Now, at 21, she’s recognized as one of the top 50 dancers at the World Irish Dance Championships. She’s been invited by the Prime Minister of Ireland to perform at their annual St. Patrick’s Day celebration and was even offered a spot on the Riverdance theatrical show world tour. Oh, and she also makes badass TikTok videos.

                                                    Beyond the world of competitive dance, Bullock first gained internet fame in 2020 when she posted a video of herself doing traditional Irish steps to Megan Thee Stallion’s “Savage.” “I just started choreographing and I made a quick video,” she told POPSUGAR. “I almost didn’t post it because I was just like, ‘I could do better than this.'” The video has since gained over 1.3 million views and several TikTok users have attempted to recreate Bullock’s moves, even tagging her in their videos. “It’s really cool to see other people doing my choreography,” she said. “Hopefully, with more people seeing Irish dance, more people will be interested in it and try it out.”

                                                    I feel really feel fortunate to have the opportunity to inspire other people who look like me to try Irish dancing.”

                                                    Bullock, who’s a student at the Baffa Academy of Irish Dance, remembers seeing Irish dance for the first time at a recital when she was 10. “It was like nothing I’d ever seen before, and I immediately asked my mom if I could sign up for classes,” she said. Bullock says her mom was initially hesitant to let her take classes because she would be the only Black student, but she remained persistent and quickly developed a passion for the dance. “I had been doing other kinds of dance, and it was just really crazy to me that the dancers were doing all these intricate moves with their feet and their upper body was completely still . . . I was like, ‘How is that possible?'” she said.

                                                    During regional competitions, or Oireachtas, Bullock and her team dress up in traditionally bright, embellished costumes and wear pageant-worthy wigs covered in bouncy curls to compete by age group for a spot at the world championships. Bullock, who sometimes trains up to 18 hours per week, compares the sport to gymnastics in that dancers are graded based on team performances and individual performances, which are her specialty. Over the years, she has qualified to travel to Glasgow, Scotland and different parts of Ireland, where she hopes to perform again once shelter-in-place orders are lifted.

                                                    In the past, Bullock has faced criticism from people accusing her of cultural appropriation, but she has made it clear that there’s a difference between appropriation and appreciation. In fact, one of her proudest accomplishments has been inspiring other young Black girls to take up Irish dance, making the sport more diverse. “There are Irish dance schools all over the world, on every continent, and Irish dance is something that anyone who wants to do it can train and do it,” she said. “I am one of few, but there are other Black Irish dancers who I know or know of, and every year I see that growing more and more, and I just see more Irish dancers who don’t really fit the typical mold of Irish dancers . . . Irish dancing is getting more and more diverse, and I feel really feel fortunate to have the opportunity to inspire other people who look like me to try Irish dancing.”

                                                    Most recently, Bullock performed in an online festival celebrating St. Brigid’s Day, a Gaelic festival that marks the beginning of spring, and she looks forward to starting rehearsals for Riverdance. Check out Bullock’s dances to “Toosie Slide” by Drake, “Candy Shop” by Pop Smoke, and more here.

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                                                    Women's Fashion

                                                    Treat Yourself or a Loved One With These 15 Canadian Valentine’s Day Gift Ideas

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                                                    Categories
                                                    Life & Love

                                                    Zoom Sex in the Age of Anxiety

                                                    Love hurts, but falling off the bed in a corset and thigh-highs hurts more.

                                                    That’s what I’m learning at Bedography, a virtual “women’s empowerment class through dance,” according to Julia Sokol, CEO and founder of SassClass, the dance studio that produces the series. The Instagram tutorial combines the moves of a rookie stripper with the vibes of Kris Jenner’s mantra: “You’re doing amazing, sweetie!” Bedography’s premise is pretty simple—bounce on a mattress in lingerie or comfy pajamas, pose, flash some skin, repeat—but in practice, it’s kind of a commitment. To maximize my potential for success, I’ve got to find an outfit that’s flirty and flexible, angle my whole body so it’s visible onscreen, adjust the lighting on my laptop, and whip my hair back and forth with the vitality of Willow Smith but the camp of the late Anna Nicole Smith. And just when I think I look drop-dead sexy, I roll too fast across my sheets and literally just…drop.

                                                    Why am I bruising my thighs along with my ego? Because a recent Harris Poll found 28 percent of American women “wish there was a better way to connect with a partner for virtual sex and pleasure” right now. And as “Zoom sex” becomes a catchphrase of sex scientists and social media hashtags alike, I want to see what kind of “video intimacy” is actually possible—with or without scrape marks from my bodice’s surprisingly strong underwire. (Well done, Stella McCartney!) And apparently, I’m not alone.

                                                    “I get questions about video sex every day,” says Stoya, the adult film producer and performer who coauthors Slate’s infamous (and very handy) “How to Do It” column. “It’s part of the COVID uptick in people wanting nonphysical sex, period. Because it’s such a stressful time, I’m also getting a lot of questions about how to get horny!” she says, laughing. “Video sex can be great for building arousal if you’re not feeling it. You can egg your partner on and say, ‘What should I do to myself?’ Then they can egg you on. And that mutual combination of sex talk and intimate imagery can build a spark. You can get off together, even if you’re not together.”

                                                    In the age of Facetune, what feels less safe than baring all without filters for a camera?

                                                    “Desire is more important a lot of times than physical touch,” agrees Megwyn White, a clinical sexologist and the director of education at Satisfyer. It’s a strange sentiment from an employee at a sex toy brand, but White insists that especially in the COVID world, absence does indeed make the clitoris grow fonder. “In this digital age, we’re not attuned to the subtleties of pleasure feedback. [Zoom sex] is really helpful to highlight that all-important feedback,” especially if you find props—like Satisfyer’s remote-controlled pleasure toys—that can heighten your own arousal and your pride in bringing someone else to climax. “But first,” she says, “you need to trust each other enough to feel vulnerable onscreen.”

                                                    And there’s the rub: In the age of Facetune, what feels less safe than baring all without filters for a camera? I consider this as I attempt to slowly take off my bra on another video—a hump day treat for my not-yet-boyfriend. We’ve been dating for about two months, and though it’s been intense, I can’t get out of my head about whether he actually likes me—which is an inner-voice thing, not a picked-the-wrong-guy thing. To reward him for dealing with my chirpy brand of insecurity, I figure the least I can do is send some PG-13 Boomerangs his way…but alas, my amateur film clip is hardly the striptease of my Coyote Ugly dreams. The bra straps have left pressed pink stripes down my shoulders; the clasp releases in one spasmodic snap, and my breasts don’t bounce out of the cups à la an OnlyFans ingenue. Instead, they kind of swing back and forth like those metal stress balls on the desk of a showy lawyer. I feel defeated and silly and, worst of all, desperate.

                                                    Enter Emma Sayle, the founder of the female-led sex club Killing Kittens. “You’re doing that ‘girl’ thing, you know?” she says, laughing. “Since we’re little, we’re told sex is all about the man. Sex ed at school is the penis and vagina and ends with him ejaculating. That messaging is so ingrained in us! It takes a lot of reprogramming.” Like Bedography classes to feel sexy on a Zoom romp? “Like understanding the shame about your body isn’t because you have a bad body. It’s because you have a bad male-dominated society,” she says, sighing. “And look, now is the perfect opportunity to be selfish and find out what makes you tick.” That may or may not include Killing Kittens’ famous group sex parties, which started in London, but now—thanks to the magic of Zoom—incorporate 60 screens (or 120-plus people), often with participants spanning six continents. “You get people having sex on their screens,” she says frankly. “People can chat privately with other screens. Pin a screen so you can see what one screen is up to. Group chat to everyone. We create an environment where there is no shame, by normalizing the conversation around sexual intercourse. Look, we try new fitness trends and diet trends and skin care routines all the time. We talk about it to our mates…but if you want to try something new and sexual, that’s weird? It’s not weird. It’s great. And your body is not weird. Your body,” she says firmly, “is great.” “Look at it this way,” Stoya adds. “If someone’s asking you for a video of your ass, it means they want to see your ass. They’re already attracted to you. So take the compliment, say thank you,” and ride that ego boost as far as it will take you.

                                                    Which brings me back on my back for Bedography, round two. I nail the Instagram-ready routine a little better this time around, but I still feel like I’m auditioning for Moulin Rouge! instead of inching closer to carnal fulfillment. “Can we normalize looking normal?!” groans Lindsey Metselaar, the host of We Met at Acme, a podcast about millennial dating in New York City. “That class sounds fun as hell, but seriously, all this performative sex stuff isn’t going to get you any closer to emotional trust and intimacy, which most women find is the fastest way to climax with another person. You want to have FaceTime sex? Have it with someone you’re already connected to. Otherwise, we need to get over all this shame about masturbation, which honestly is just good self-care. If you’re not feeling safe enough to strip down for someone else, that’s fine. You will be eventually. But for now, turn the camera off and give yourself what you want.”

                                                    Right now, that’s an ice pack and some Tylenol for my bruised ribs. But I send an iCal invite to the not-yet-boyfriend for a Zoom call tomorrow. We’ll probably just talk about our days and the news and the hazy future happiness we may or may not try to build together. But just in case, I’ve got a corset, a Zoom account, and a remote-operated sex toy, and I’m not (entirely) afraid to use them.

                                                    This article appears in the February 2021 issue of ELLE.

                                                    This content is created and maintained by a third party, and imported onto this page to help users provide their email addresses. You may be able to find more information about this and similar content at piano.io

                                                    Categories
                                                    Culture

                                                    Selena Gomez Expertly Navigated New York City’s Snowstorm In Heels

                                                    During the final hours of New York City’s big snowstorm this week, which blanketed the city in over 17.2 inches of snow, Selena Gomez made a bold move: Navigating the city and its scantily plowed sidewalks in heels. The singer was photographed out on Tuesday, carefully walking to lunch with a friend at The Odeon restaurant in TriBeCa. Gomez wore a pair of ripped jeans, a giant pink scarf, cream teddy coat, white gloves, and an orange mask. She carried a black purse, which complemented her black heels.

                                                    selena gomez out walking in the snow

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                                                    Gomez has been in Manhattan for the past couple weeks, filming her upcoming Hulu comedy Only Murders in the Building. Earlier this week, hair stylist Evanie Frausto posted photos of Gomez in the pastel rainbow wig he created for her on his Instagram Story. In one shot, she appears in a mask (in adherence to New York’s COVID-19 guidelines) and her Louis Vuitton monogram trench. It’s unclear whether the look was for a project or just for fun. (Some celebrities will wear wigs when they go out to help disguise them, so they can have some privacy.)

                                                    In addition to Only Murders in the Building, Gomez is on the cusp of releasing her first Spanish EP, REVELACIÓN, on March 12. Gomez spoke to Apple Music’s Zane Lowe last month about how singing in Spanish has been a longtime dream of hers. “This has been something I’ve wanted to do for 10 years, working on a Spanish project, because I’m so, so proud of my heritage, and just genuinely felt like I wanted this to happen,” she said. “And it happened, and I feel like it’s the perfect timing. Just with all the division in the world, there’s something about Latin music that globally just makes people feel things, you know?”

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                                                    I Add Riced Cauliflower to Oatmeal, Smoothies, Rice, and Soup to Lower the Calorie Density

                                                    When I started delving deeper into the whole food, plant-based world, many of the plant-based doctors including John McDougall, MD, talk about eating non-starchy veggies to fill you up. That’s because they have a low calorie density, which means you can eat more volume to fill your belly, but without a lot of calories.

                                                    Cauliflower is one of my favorite non-starchy veggies because the texture is soft when you cook it, and the taste is so mild, that it takes on the flavor of whatever you cook it with. I started adding frozen rice cauliflower to my meals, and it was one little tip that helped me lose COVID weight gain.